Why Are Asperger’s Females More Capable of Masking Their Condition?

Please forgive my opening rant. It’s just that I am so sick and tired of the world treating us like we’re broken.

Rant warning on:

As long as we continue to adhere to the medical model’s way of defining heath (as the statistical norm), questions like this one; “mask their condition,” will continue to be treated as valid. They’re not valid. Why not? Because this viewpoint then leads medical professionals and educators to employ the worst of all treatments for people with Asperger’s: forcing them to imitate this fake normal.

What’s the problem with doing this?

Nothing makes a person come across more socially awkward than making her or him pretend to be something they are not.

Want to see for yourself? Are you brave enough to try?

Ask a person with Asperger’s to teach you to imitate him or her for even one day. Believe me, one day of trying to imitate me would have most people ready to scream. And ready to have a melt down.

Sound familiar?

Rant warning off:

What I will do is answer a revised version of this question, one which treats people with Asperger’s with respect. What is the difference between how the world sees and treats males with Asperger’s vs females with Asperger’s?

To begin with, during the past twenty years, in my therapy practice, I have seen quite a few females with Asperger’s. Currently, I’m seeing several, as well as six males with Asperger’s.

Also, I am a male with Asperger’s. So I have frequently exchanged life stories with females with Asperger’s. Always, I have been amazed at how much we have in common.

My point? In all but two cases, the females I’ve spoken with have suffered less social prejudice than any of the males I’ve seen. This is not to say they suffer less. Definitely not. But in truth, most of the females I’ve seen with Asperger’s “pass” for normal, this despite their Asperger’s being immediately apparent to me. And probably to anyone else with Asperger’s.

This of course raises many important questions, beginning with why they would pass more often. Here, several reasons come to mind.

[1] Society pressures ALL women to hide their flaws and to imitate a fake normal. This includes women with Asperger’s who, because of this pressure, acquire far more skills at “passing” than men. Indeed, I have often thought about how males with Asperger’s suffer a very similar pressure to that which ALL women suffer from, only in different ways. However, since society puts far less pressure on males to look perfect out in the world, we males with Asperger’s rarely acquire the skill set required to pass. Rather, we continue to look like the people we are: folks with a minority personality who are being forced to pretend to be something we are not. Hence our looking socially awkward.

[2[ I mentioned two cases of females who did not pass any better than males. Some support for my previous point lies in the fact that these two woman were quite overweight, whereas all the rest were more in line with what society expects and demands females to look like. Thus it must be that, to some degree, society is willing to overlook some social awkwardness in attractive women. And while there is an obvious upside to this, the downside is that women with Asperger’s have a much harder time convincing people they need help, let alone that they are suffering inside.

[3] In addition to these two things, there is the problem of diagnosis. Most professionals I know, when asked how they diagnose Asperger’s, say they look to see if the person makes bad eye contact, lacks empathy, and has no friends. Quite honestly, calling this “method,” science is like calling a turd, caviar. Pathetically inadequate, at best. Tragically harmful, at worst.

How does one know if they have Asperger’s?

For now, I’ve taken up enough of your time. Perhaps, another day.